Sam's Ass

Sam's Ass, or The Ultimate Weapon, is an assembly of Sam's rectum and a synthetic pocket dimension of extra-dimensional composition.

Purpose
Made by The Jovian Space Pimps in the early 21st Century, The Ultimate Weapon was designed solely for the capture and sequestering of Seth who, until that point, proved unstoppable to his creators.

The Weapon, being of extra-dimensional constitution, was unsustainable in 'regular' spacetime without enclosure. 'Regular' matter, as the counterpart to extra-dimensional energy, served as an effective capsule to contain the pocket dimension, preventing its degradation and inevitable collapse. As such, The Pimps chose to install it in an organic being—Sam—that would be able to restore itself and uphold the integrity of The Weapon's vessel without regular maintenance.

Contemporary Use
Following The Renewal and Sam's study of The Weapon, it was repurposed as an impenetrable storage device for the riches of Neophytos Enterprises, Inc. After many failures to work alongside various banking institutions, Clan Neophytos chose to store its growing wealth independently and, in lieu of interest to expand their capital, began reinvesting in a multitude of varied and unique business opportunities. When assets were liquidated and/or profit was accrued, all cash is safely stowed away in Sam's Ass.

During The Submarine Sandwich Investigation, the bulk of Neophytos' cash was withdrawn from Sam's Ass. Due to hefty losses, an unprofitable business venture, and (most importantly) a weak economy, that capital was never restored, and Neophytos' reserves remain at an all-time low.

Physical Anomaly
By all standards of modern physics, Sam's Ass is a physical impossibility. The phenomenon of infinite foreign spacetime existing in finite domestic matter is yet to be studied or fully understood, as Sam refuses to yield his rectum for professional examination. Any and all irregularities of this phenomenon are attributable to our ignorance of The Pimp's dimension of origin and the characteristics of its respective energy, matter, and spacetime and, most importantly, how they interact with their counterparts in our dimension.